باد هرجا بخواهد می وزد

Something that has probably been forgotten...

2008-10-30T22:57:00.018-04:00

Read this: A post about the dark side of the technology, quite close to my viewpoint, by a dear friend far far away. And my paraphrase on it:

We've almost forgotten how life would be (or used to be) in its genuine form. And it's sad that a very great portion of the things that technology has brought to us, is not ultimately useful, or even is not "necessary" at all. We could, e.g. live without most of the services that a cellphone offers besides the communication. And some might even believe that the communication itself is not "always" quite useful... And you know what? The reason that our parents and grandparents usually have difficulty learning to work with computers -or other modern electronic devices in general- is not that they cannot learn how to work with them; it is, however, just because they've learnt and believed that "life is possible -and maybe much less stressful- without getting contaminated to different aspects of technology"... And it's interesting that our ancestors had much more time in their life than what now we have, because they never spent the time today we spend on electronic devices like computers. And they're also productive enough, and even more productive than us, without the modern technology...

Sometimes I think what would happen to me if I didn't have access to this ocean of information, i.e., the internet?!... Hmmm... Probably nothing, but I would go "just" for those pieces of information that I needed, not all the things that this addictive magic box (I mean the computer) can provide me with...

P.S. 1. For sure I'm not in enmity with technology, no no...! (you know I'm doing my PhD, with a real joy, on developing the very cutting edge of the technology), but sometimes we need to remind it to ourselves that life is possible without these devices. And remind it to ourselves that a break or vacation to a remote place can be quite refreshing; although it's now too hard -if not yet completely impossible- for us to return to our genuine life and our nature as a human being, not as a machine...

P.S. 2. The above photo is the last one I took with my old camera before I update it to a newer one two years ago... It's all because I wanted a newer technology of digital photography...

Recommending the movie "Religulous": Just for those who are rational enough

2008-10-09T23:57:00.026-04:00

(A documentary by Larry Charles, criticizing (and somehow spoofing) all religious believes (or RIDICULOUS believes as the name says) around the world.)

Well… I had been so thrilled by many movies, theaters, music pieces, and books that I decided to update my blog (I mean this one!) immediately after seeing/reading them. It's, however, the first time I'm doing this; not because those I watched before this one were not recommendable, nor because this one is wonderful, but because it really speaks of one of the biggest issues of the country I came from, as well as of the country that I'm now reside in... And maybe only those who were grown up in religious schools (and suffered a lot) like me, or lived for a year with a religious roommate as I did, can really feel this movie. Such people will for sure find themselves as the narrator at several points; but in general, all rational people can enjoy it.

I'd decided not to quote any part of the movie, since you should see the whole, but I couldn't ignore these two:

"You don't need to pass an IQ test to be a senator." (US Senator from Arkansas)

"... it's a part of my foreign policy." (G. W. Bush)

P. S. 1. I'd like to stress on the word "enjoy". The movie can totally be supposed as a "cartoon" (or caricature) of those who don't think of what they've chosen to be. It's not a debate, nor a logical discussion, but just spoofing. So don't expect a strong justification or proof towards an anti-religious thought. Just a cartoon to enjoy!

P. S. 2. I went to watch the movie alone, but -totally by chance- I saw one of my lab-mates (whose parents are evangelists) with 5-6 other boys/girls at the entrance of the Michigan Theater. I joined them, while I was surprised to see him coming to this movie, but I wasn't so surprised to see him grumbling himself while we're all laughing at great points of it...

The Fantastic Voyage: A Half-Century of Unfulfilled Dreams

2008-09-04T21:05:00.020-04:00

For me it’s been just “few years” of dreaming about and loving a field that I could finally start my research on, six months ago, as I joined the MEMS program at UofM; but it has challenged several crazy engineers for almost half a century. And it is really amazing/surprising/puzzling (whatever you would say!) that all the things also began from a crazy –and at the same time funny– dream.

I always try not to say that by reading this or that book/article, or watching this or that movie, or even by meeting a great character/person/scientist/artist, my life has totally been changed and got so influenced that a revolution occurred in my own world; just because I think this kind of dramatization can only be a good idea for making the history more attractive for its audiences, and I’m not a part of history –yet!

However, I could never reply anything other than “Have you seen the movie ‘Fantastic Voyage’ ever?” in return, whenever I was asked about MEMS and why I’m interested in it. And it happens almost every time I start explaining my research for –and at the same time start exciting– people with no affiliation in MEMS. It's been so, for a while, something around 3-4 years, since I got introduced to MEMS and told myself quickly: “Wow! It’s the same as the movie Fantastic Voyage!” (It’s not a great movie at all –at least by my opinion! But it can still be a good reference.)

But you’ll certainly find it even more surprising –as I also found it so for the first time– if you know that the first idea of having a “Microelectromechanical Device or Robot” was exactly inspired by that movie! Although you might get a bit frustrated of your research, when you realize that all the things you’re really serious about has come from science-fiction and Hollywood, but it’s still almost the exact way DARPA reviews the MEMS proposals: The more science-fiction it is, the more likely it’ll be approved!

Almost all of those working on MEMS are aware of Ken Wise’s role in the development of MEMS; he’s at least one of the main three contributors to the MEMS world, if you’re exacting enough not to call him “Father of MEMS”. He published, however, a quite interesting review paper on the history of MEMS last year which he named “Integrated sensors, MEMS, and microsystems: Reflections on a fantastic voyage”. It's really worth to take a look at that if you are interested in knowing a bit more about the history of MEMS and its origin. You’ll specially find what I’m talking about if you read this part in the 2^nd section:

My own entry into the world of integrated sensors came in May 1966 in a seminar given by Dr. Frank Morrell at Stanford University. It was the same year the movie Fantastic Voyage was released...

…

Because I was on-leave from Bell Labs and was planning to spend the summer of 1966 there, I was invited to use this topic as the basis of my doctoral dissertation. I spent many lunch hours that summer talking with the people doing selective silicon etching at Murray Hill and reading about the electrodes then used in neurophysiology...

Yes! It was the way MEMS began! And I was really surprised to explore(!) that paper last year. It’s also funny that he (Prof. Wise) has highlighted his own role indirectly –and at the same time, humbly– on the development of MEMS using the following chart in that paper:

(Though he doesn’t point out in the paper, the dashed line somehow represents his footprint in his move from Bell Labs to Stanford and then to UofM!)

***

But… It was just for the last year! Few hours ago, I found another interesting thing about the history of MEMS: Richard Feynman’s talk on nanotechnology: “There’s Plenty of Room at the Bottom (1959)” (I’d heard that sentence as a MEMS advertisement several times, but I hadn’t read the talk before today.) It’s truly amazing, not only because of his predictions –which might not be so true due to his inaccurate imagination of micro-electronics– but also because of the direction of the paper which is totally about “micromachining”; It talks mostly about the dream of having small robots that can be e.g. implanted into blood vessels for treatment; almost the same as that movie, as he mentions:

…it would be interesting in surgery if you could swallow the surgeon. You put the mechanical surgeon inside the blood vessel and it goes into the heart and “looks” around. (Of course the information has to be fed out.) It finds out which valve is the faulty one and takes a little knife and slices it out. Other small machines might be permanently incorporated in the body to assist some inadequately-functioning organ...

And he mostly addresses the “possibility” of having (not the detailed properties of) such devices, in terms of physical laws, as he points out several times:

“But there is plenty of room to make them smaller. There is nothing that I can see in the physical laws that says such devices cannot be made enormously smaller than what they are now.”

But his talk might seem to be even a bit frustrating if you read the following parts when you're being challenged with a hard-to-solve problem in MEMS:

“What are the possibilities of small but movable machines? They may or may not be useful, but they surely would be fun to make!”

And:

…Now, you might say, “Who should do this and why should they do it?" Well, I pointed out a few of the economic applications, but I know that the reason that you would do it might be just for fun. But have some fun! Let's have a competition between laboratories. Let one laboratory make a tiny motor which it sends to another lab which sends it back with a thing that fits inside the shaft of the first motor…

Interesting, huh?! But, I got frustrated after reading that! Because it’s been almost the most common usage of MEMS so far! You see?! I work on a field i.e. just useful for science-fiction, fun, and an endless crazy competition. And even my adviser’s quote ("We’ve just scratched the surface!" which reminds that there might be so many applications in the future) doesn’t help much, because it also reminds me of another MEMS professor's (currently at UofM) quote (Prof. Gianchandani) who always jokes with his (and now our!) field as: “As a MEMS engineer we just make some TOYS for fun and w/o any special application!”...

Well... What a fun! (or what the... hehe...)

P.S.1. I guess it's definitely enough for writing! I should go back to the real research and as Feynman also says "Have some fun!"... I just wrote this much in order to strongly recommend both Wise’s review paper and Feynman’s talk as interesting readings: One from a perspective behind, and the other from a perspective ahead (though of old times, it still looks pretty new), which surprisingly almost match each other…

P.S.2. I still pursue that dream and fascination; that's why I proudly say my research interest is MEMS. But I always remind it to myself (the very cruel advice of the dean of research at college of engineering, Prof. Forrest) that "Never ever fall in love with technology, because it'll kill you for sure, although there's no generalization."... well... who knows better than Stephen Forrest?! He's almost a Noble Laureate (if there was any Noble prize for technology, he would have won so many so far!) in the world of technology... and it's not art or dream and even science, but just the cruel world of engineering... So, let's have some fun!

One year passed...

2008-08-21T22:52:00.007-04:00

Well… 21^st of August: It’s been exactly one year since I entered the US. Truly unbelievable! And honestly, before I leave Iran, I could hardly imagine that I’ll have so much new experience and new feelings, such as new ties and belongings, new hopes and disappointments, new goals, new fears and doubts, feeling lonely, feeling the need for new friends from other cultures, etc. Also I could hardly believe that I'll learn that much and meet such new, lovely and unique people in AA, although I knew a new world was waiting for me… And who knows?! Many of these new things may totally change one's life forever... Forever AND without a way of return…

It's been almost another life for me as I started my PhD at UofM, and it’s interesting that I just once traveled to Houston and visited Detroit for couple of times, so I’ve been mostly in AA for the last year; but even this limitation in place couldn’t limit THE NEW WORLD and couldn’t prevent me from exploring that… That’s why I still want to experience it and expand the territory of my life; and of course by “new world” I don’t mean America: It can be a new period of being alone, meeting new people, fighting for academic success, and seeking new cultures, while you’re persistent enough to maintain yours…

I always tell it to myself that you never know what really awaits you, so you should look forward to truly unexpected and unpredicted things, even unpleasant ones; and it’s exactly how I enjoy my life: being in an ocean of uncertainties. But sometimes when I take a look at the past, I should ask myself: “Was it really the thing I was looking and planned for?!”… And it’s more understandable for an Iranian student like me, who cannot take the risk of a VISA application failure by coming back to his country during his education…

Don’t get misled! So far I’ve been extremely happy here, and liked (though not fully satisfied with) what I’ve got, but I could never imagine it last year when I was leaving my beloved country, and leaving behind all of my belongings, lovely friends, and my family in tears… And right now (just at the moment) I feel that I’m missing all of those a lot, and feel extremely alone (Don't worry! Just now!), although it’s been the most successful year of my life…

P.S. 1. Last week two of my old classmates -two of the best friends I’ve ever had- came to Ann Arbor from Atlanta and New York to visit friends they have here and AA; and although I was too busy with my research (and now feel sorry about that) to spend all the time with them, we explored the rest of Arborian things I hadn’t seen before, and reflected on our new life together (Maybe it was their leave that suddenly caused me to feel alone). Then I realized that I hadn’t seen them for a year since they came to the airport to say goodbye to me. You can see them (the second and the last one from the left) in the above photo, exactly at the time of my leave in the airport; and it’s sad that I might not be able to see them for another long period and might not be able so see the other four in the photo for a much longer time; as it’s also the case for my beloved family and my lovely country…

P.S. 2. Why is it sometimes so hard for me to bear the leaves and departures, while I know that it's what should happen in life?! Maybe it's because I usually get too tied soon... Maybe...

My Archive of PhD Comics (some nerd stuff!)

2008-07-27T17:44:00.017-04:00

It's really surprising how "PhD Comics" artists know almost all the silly things about our graduate life, and how students, advisers and their relationships are the same almost everywhere! (Sometimes I think they're here at UofM!)

Here, I've collected some of those:

This is EXACTLY my case (actually once he sent me a very long and nice e-mail mostly saying that "never say your adviser's busy!", but that case can be supposed as an exception!)
Just look at the student's e-mail: "I was wondering if perhaps you might have possibly gotten the chance to potentially find the time to maybe look..." hehe!

And this one is the same for almost all, but some advisers try to be a bit nicer!

It happens frequently for science-fiction-based research (Sometimes I imagine that for my next couple of years!... But just ask your senior students for now! :D)

And I can see this obviously happens for those submitting papers, esp. with tenures or busy advisers:

And for deadline (We always feel it: "Another week?!" hehe! :D)

Professors vs. Ninjas (It's a bit unrelated, but still funny!)

And finally, it's exactly my case when I try to enter the cleanroom without taking my card out of my pocket (sometimes even jumping doesn't help much!)

P.S. 1. I couldn't find the comic that was about getting nerd in JOKES and CHATTING, but you might see it here, in this post! :D
Am I getting nerd?!...

P.S. 2. We had almost the same thing in one of Sharif U of Tech.'s magazines ("Noghte Sare Khat"), which was called "our beloved advisers"; but it was jokes, not comics. Anyway, I guess the name "our beloved advisers" can be more suitable for this post's contents!

A bear who intended to remain a bear... (What have we forgotten?!)

2008-07-04T19:06:00.035-04:00

(It took me 4 days to write this post during my 10min breaks when I was at university. I don't expect you to read it in one go, but if you do so (even in 10 steps!), I'll be very thankful to you all, because I spent much time on it!)

During the past couple of weeks, I got busier than anytime of my graduate study here, although I was also busy enough before that. The story began when our beloved adviser told us during a group meeting: "I'm really glad of having such hard-working students on this project, and being proud of you, I'm sure that we'll have our micro-pump in our hands pretty soon... But, you're now 4 students on this project, and it's very critical for us to have the first sample of our device ready for testing much sooner than our deadline (i.e. in October), let's say by July 15th, when we have the DARPA PI meeting... So, I recommend you to divide 24 hours by 4, and schedule in a way that this project will be run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, without interruption!... Work in series, not parallel, so each of you does fabrication 6-8 hours a day, and you can spend the remaining time you're at university on characterizing the device in the lab or on studying..."

And we started doing so! Seriously! With no interruption, and 24/7! Until we blocked on Tuesday by an unknown issue in some part of process, so we could do nothing for 24hours. It was 3:30pm that I finished microscopy of the device and our next tool reservation was on Wednesday 4:00pm, so we had 24.5 hours for ourselves...

I went home, knowing nothing to do! Although I had so many plans like playing piano without any stress, cleaning, shopping, cooking after almost a month, etc., and I really started some of those, but I was still feeling strange, asking myself what I should exactly do! Because it wasn't usual time of getting home (I usually got home around midnight during these two weeks)... Even I couldn't get to sleep... I was lacking something! But what?!... Fabrication?!... Cleanroom?!... And then I started remembering a story:

* * * * *

Once when I was 8 years old, I was given a book written by a German writer (I don't remember writer's exact name: Schneider?! Muller?! or something like that...) and named (in Farsi) "A bear who intended to remain a bear" (It seems that the original German name was something else, because recently I searched the name on the web, but I couldn't find anything). The book was a thin one, seemed to be written for children, with so many illustrations and pictures (almost each page was completely covered with a large picture), but it wasn't a children book at all (I really don't know why it's classified so in Iran). It was one of the saddest and most depressing books I'd ever seen in my life, with very unhappy realistic pictures, all of autumn and painted in cold colors... It was telling a very Kafkaesque story of an excessively industrialized society...

The story was about a bear living in a jungle who went to a cave for his annual hibernation as he'd done so all other years. But this time, during the winter, a company came and cut the trees on the part of jungle the bear's cave was located to build a very large factory there. So, when spring came, the cave was located under a factory, and as soon as the bear came out of his hibernation, he found himself in a factory! While he was shocked of this almost sudden change, a watchman supposed him as a factory worker and shouted at him to get back to work! Of course the bear (he COULD speak in the story) replied -very politely- "As you can see sir, I'm a bear!", but he replied: "What I can see at front of my eyes is just a lazy worker, who should wash and shave ASAP!" The bear was, however, insistent enough to prove he's not a worker, but a bear; so they went to the head worker, but the response was the same: "A lazy worker who needs shaving and washing!"... They brought the bear from person to person to convince him that he's not a bear, and each time they went to someone with a higher rank in factory than the previous ones; but the response was always the same: "A lazy worker who needs shaving and washing!"... (This totally reminds me of Kafka's "The Trial"...)

They did so, until they ended up to the head boss of the factory. Since (as the writer joked here) he was the one with largest room and less things to do in the whole factory, he had enough time to give to the bear for proving his claim, but the boss also believed that he is a worker because bears are all either in zoos or circuses! So they brought the bear to a circus and then to a zoo, showing him to other bears. Circus bears said that of course he just looked like a bear but he's not, since he cannot dance, nor can he perform any kind of circus show as a REAL(!) bear! What bears at zoo said was nothing so different: "A REAL bear should live in a cage in zoo, not in a factory! So he's just a lazy worker with a bear-like fur coat, who needs shaving and washing!..."

Finally the bear got contented to be a worker, although he knew that he's not. They brought him back to the factory, while he's whispering to himself: "But I'm a bear... What's wrong with people here?!"... Then they brought cloths, identification card and shaving stuff for him. He washed, shaved, dressed like other workers and even swept his card to get to work without any objection, and started working as they taught him. Days came by day and he spent all the spring and summer at work, without saying a word about being a bear, until the time of his hibernation got closed, but he'd forgotten what he should do. Just getting more and more tired, this time he just asked himself: "What's wrong with me?!"...

As the winter was getting closer he got lazier and usually got asleep during work, until they fired him from the factory. However, he didn't know where he can go and what he should do, because he was just trained to be a factory worker. He walked along a highway in snowy weather for long, until he got to a motel, and asked for a room. The motel reception told him: "We don't let factory workers in, esp. in the case of such a huge wet dirty BEAR like you!" And he got happy because he's called a bear now, of course, just by a sarcastic vulgar not a real word. But, regardless of what the reception meant by BEAR, he started running into the jungle which was besides the highway where motel was located, with all his factory cloths on, while motel reception was shocked and calling the police!... He went into the jungle and finally found a cave by his instinct. Without knowing what to do, however, sat in front of that, started asking himself what he should do. Just knowing that he'd forgotten something, he tried to remember what he should exactly do, but he couldn't remember anything and just asked himself: "What's wrong with me?! What have I forgotten?!"... He waited for few hours while it's snowing, until he got frozen and died in front of the cave...

* * * * *

Yes! That's the story of "an extreme" with a Kafkaesque view behind it: "A Super Industrialized Nation", which has forgotten all its nature, assuming people should be at work, animals should be in zoo or circus, and cannot imagine anything other than usual daily affairs it's learnt to think of... And of course such society can easily cause a "metamorphism" on you, steals your personality, character, spirit or instinct, convincing you that you're born as what you ARE now: a worker, an engineer, a driver, or what else that can be just a good match for its huge industrialized system... NO IMAGINATION, NO LIFE, NO PERSONAL CHARACTER... And the educational system of such society (I mean our dear planet in general, not a specific country) cannot be too far from this...

Remembering all the above story when I couldn't decide what to do at that afternoon, I started asking myself: "Seriously, what have we forgotten?!..."

P. S. 1. Please do not get misled! I love my field and my adviser. That's for sure! That's why I called him "beloved"... I also love UofM and Ann Arbor. That's also for sure! Don't think that we (I mean all people) are forced by our bosses and advisers in the modern industrial system, and that there's less pressure upon people with higher ranks (At this point I don't agree with that German writer that the head boss had less things to do...). I believe that in such a modern society, all people, regardless of their ranks, are CHAINED equally by the system, but you may not be able to see the chains clearly... (e.g. My adviser almost works as hard as us...)

P. S. 2. Does anyone know the exact German name of that book?! As I mentioned above, it seems that the name "A bear who intended to remain a bear", had just come out of the Farsi translation... I'll appreciate it if anyone lets me know the name...

P. S. 3. Am I getting too Kafkaesque or I'm just tired?!

* * * * *

P. S. 4. (written on July 5): Thanks to the "Google Translate", I found the book: "Der Bär, der ein Bär bleiben wollte" (I guess it means "The bear who wanted to stay". This English title cannot be, however, found on the web either. Maybe it's not available in English!)... Anyway, you might be interested in checking it out yourself: at amazon.de or at somewhere else! It's also amazing that I'd remembered the author's (there are two!) names almost correctly: "Jörg Müller" and "Jörg Steiner". One more thing that I realized at Wikipedia: They're both Swiss not German...

P. S. 5. (written on July 5): It's not the first time that I'm writing something related to a writer, director or a musician, on his/her birthday (I'd done it previously in my old blog for Liszt, Bresson, Bach, Mosaddegh, etc.) but it's EXACTLY the FIRST time that I did it totally by accident! Totally! Few minutes ago I realized (in Facebook) that Kafka's birthday is on July 3, 1883! It was his 125th birthday when I was thinking and writing about him! Can you believe it?! I'm not superstitious at all, but now totally excited -and at the same time- afraid of such a strange sympathy/telepathy!... What a rare coincidence! :-)

Ann Arbor, -43

2008-07-01T23:04:00.026-04:00

FINALLY! After almost six months of starting this “spelled!” blog, I've finally managed to start posting on it. And you know that re-starting sometimes is much more difficult than starting itself. (and of course much much more difficult than continuing...)

It seems really strange to me that during the past nine months that I’ve been in US, I had several up and downs, good and bad experiences, hopes and disappointments, and lots of changes in my life, took more than 1500 photos, etc. etc., which all motivated me to start this blog to post something on web, but I don’t know exactly why I postponed writing on it for such a long time… Maybe (Just maybe…) I really didn’t feel that I need to write my feelings or experiences somewhere and that I’ve never felt I’m forced from inside to post something here, although it seemed that there’ve been so many motivations for writing…

It’s also interesting that three years ago I started a weblog in Farsi and continuously updated very long posts on it for two years, but when I try to remember the reason of doing such a thing, I cannot find any specific answer, except that I was feeling that I want to write. YES! I had NO defined reason for posting, nor did I have any reason for stopping updating it about a year ago… My friends always thought that it was just because of getting busier that I forgot how to write, whether for my old blog, or for this one, but let me confess that I’m now busier than any time that I’ve been in US and I have NO defined reason for updating again, (exactly like all immediate decisions I made in life: I had NO reason ever, other than that being alive always lets me do whatever I can...), BUT I feel that NOW something pushes me from inside that I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE than writing somewhere… The only thing that I know is that I’m switching to English just because there might be some non-Iranians among my readers now…

I guess it’s getting too long for my first post after a while, so let me finish it with this: Last week I went to canoeing with some friends, and I wanted to take pictures of Huron River for posting them here, but my camera got sadly dead, and I could just took few; none of them was notable… So, I’m putting some photos that I took from Huron River last summer, hopping that they’re almost the same as what I saw last week…

P. S. 1. As I mentioned, now I’m busier than any other time in my life, but as soon as I found few minutes for writing, I started: I wrote the above passage last night (around 2am) when I was in cleanroom and I should wait 10 minutes for my process to be done, so I could get to a computer and start writing whatever that I could… At that moment I was feeling some pain in my chest, and it was all because of staying at work for a long time… Although I was sure it was completely physical, not emotional, I was also sure that I could release this pain by writing… I thought that I could find the above photos from an e-mail I sent to a friend in Iran (whom last week I promised to update my blog before end of June!) 10 months ago, to include in the post, but I couldn’t find them, so posting was postponed again, but just for a day this time.

P. S. 2. Ann Arbor -43 was the only thing that I could find for title! I’ll count it down to get to -1 and then 0, which is the present time, and I hope for every post, I include some of the past photos I took… Don’t worry about 43, I just picked it randomly and I should manage it somehow to get to 0 at the right time!

A new year has begun: It's my BDِay...

2007-12-31T00:01:00.001-05:00

باد هرجا بخواهد می وزد: نام دوم فیلمی است از روبر برسون (نام اصلی آن "یک زندانی محکوم به مرگ گریخت" است) که من پیش تر، از این نام برای نگارش مقاله ای در باره ی برسون استفاده کرده بودم... و البته نام کتابی است از بابک احمدی درباره ی همین فیلمساز، و بیش از همه، جمله ای است بیان گر تسلیم ناپذیری و پایداری... که بنا شد نام وب نوشته های جدید من هم باشد.
...
به گمانم برای شروعی دوباره (احتمالا با یک فوتوبلاگ) زمان خوبی باشد، چرا که امشب سالروز تولد من است و شب سال نوی (واقعی) من: بیست و سه سال گذشت